The Company of Wolves

First of all, I’d like to say, “I LOVE Wolves! They are my favorite animal and I would trust their instincts over that of a human any day!Wolves aren’t taken in by pomp and circumstance, wolves are not impressed by fame or wealth, wolves read your heart and then watch your every move(I think, good advice to follow)As a child growing up out in the wilderness, all my friends were animals. Wolves were by far my favorite though! They protected me and comforted me when I needed them most, I relate to them. We both have been so misunderstood and even vilified, while all the while actually being very loving and extremely loyal to those who have earned our love! Now, farmers shoot every wolf they see because once in forever wolves kill one of their livestock. Meanwhile, thousands of the wolve’s deer are shot and killed every single hunting season, making it nearly impossible for the wolves to even find any of their “natural deer prey” This is so fuckedup! We ca me up together, evolved TOGETHER. We used to have a symbiotic relationship.. The wolves would hang around our tribes and alert us to danger, sometimes even DEFEND US from other predators! I n return, we would throw them our extra meat.  What the hell happened..?!! Wolves became dogs, “man’s best friend” but we certainly weren’t theirs…Not by a long shot!! I met my first wolf out in the wild wild, when I was 7 years old. At the time we were living out in the middle of nowhere Arizona, me, my mom and my mom’s boyfriend. My mother didn’t know, because I was to scared and ashamed to tell her, that every day while she was at work her boyfriend was sexually abusing me. So, one day I was way down at the river playing(as far away from the man that I could get at 7years old) When along came a beautiful she wolf. She looked me up and down for a minute and when our eyes met she lowered her head slightly, then back up acknowledging that she understood I was in trouble. She then sat down at the edge of the river about ten feet down from me. The look on her face said “nobody will dare try and harm you now” I felt safe with her and trusted her completely! We sat together watching the river crashing over the rocks for about 15 minutes before she went on her way. My next encounter with a wolf was when I was in my 20s. At the time I was dating a very wealthy man, who had a very wealthy friend that lived on a ranch in Texas. We went to visit him one weekend. This man was known to be quite eccentric and had a very unusual collection of pets, including a leopard, a cougar, several sea otters and one full blooded, formerly wild wolf When I told the man how much I loved wolves, he said he would bring it out to meet us. He had us sit on a low rock wall in his backyard. Suddenly, the back door opened and out came a beautiful male grey wolf, he was huge! The man had him on what I thought was a rediculously thick chain, for show but as soon as he saw me and our eyes met, THE wildness in his eyes reflected the wildness in my own! He somehow managed to shake free from the man and was now running at me in a full gallup!For a split second the “prey” animal in me thought “oh shit, I’M dinner! “But, just as quickly was drowned out by an avalanche of such incredible love, All I could do was just throw my arms open at the sides and welcome him.As the wolf got close, he reared up on his hind legs, as soon as his enormous front paws made contact with my shoulders, I was layed out flat on the ground, he then stood on top of me licking my face! I was both laughing and sobbing at the same time…..After all this time, all these years, all these lives, the FOREST had not forgotten me! Me, the little nature baby that would spend hours sitting on the forest floor throwing lavish tea parties for turtles, frogs and mice, always dressed in my customary, ceramonial pink tu tu, tiara and magic wand! While that wolf was licking my face, I was transported right back to when I was that innocent ,joyful little girl playing in the forest still undamaged and whole inside. The who I was at present, full of shame and self loathing stood so starkly against that memory of the me I started out as.