Deer Woman sits at her kitchen table looking out the window, slowly sipping her coffee, watching the clouds turn pink with the rising of the sun and letting the last remnants of the night’s dreams slowly drift away from her mind. Deer Woman was born into the White man’s world and given the name Bonnie at birth, Bonnie means beautiful and that she definitely was beautiful, often being called an “Audrey Hepburn look-alike throughout her life. Bonnie hailed from the Huron Indian tribe in the great lakes area and if had been born into her own tribe, most likely would have been called” Deer Woman” because of her strong connection to deer. She has always been drawn to deer and they to her. She was quite deer like herself, strong, graceful and beautiful and always hyper-vigilant, shy and a bit timid accept when it came to defending her young daughter, she had to “lower her horns” in battle many times to protect her young and did not hesitate although, she much preferred to go about her business unnoticed. After a life time spent in the white man’s world Deer Woman started getting sick from all the noise in the cities, she felt a desperate yearning for the forest and the quietness of the trees. She scraped together all the money she could, bought a small lot of land in the mountains of Colorado and put a trailer home on it. Almost immediately, the deer started coming to visit, drawn to her like the sun. At first it was just one or two “scouts” but before long whole, giant herds would come out of the forest and surround her trailer. They would all look in her windows playfully wanting to catch a glimpse of her. The new mothers would bring their new babies to show off to Deer Woman. On one such visit, a new momma deer brought her new male fawn, she was beaming with pride and Deer Woman quickly realized why. This young male fawn had “something” about him, his wide chested stance, the way he made direct eye contact. It was obvious to Deer Woman that this was to be the next KING of the herd. Bonnie playfully called him” Studley because he would likely father many babies. Studley’s mother was called “Mother”because she was mother of the new king she deserved a regal title. Studley came to visit Deer Woman by himself now, he loved to “flirt” and show off! He would “charge” at Bonnie and stop at the last minute, digging in his hooves and making clouds of dust, he would arch down his muscular neck , jutting out his forehead where he would soon have dangerous antlers. Bonnie cheered at his masculine power and courage. Bonnie started developing a bit of a “crush” on Studley too. She would leave out water and apples for the herd, secretly hoping Studley would make an “appearance.” He came daily with or without the herd. If Bonnie wasn’t out in her front yard, Studley would walk up onto her porch and tap his hooves on the wooden boards to get her attention. One such day, he was so persistent, that her neighbor called bonnie on her phone to tell her Studley was on her porch. Bonnie ran to her front door and there was Studley standing there, the velvet had begun to fall from his majestic antlers. It sort of flopped over one eye comically. Studley wanted to show Deer Woman that he was almost a real STAG now! Deer Woman marveled at his beautiful new antlers, she ran her hand over them while he ate an apple from her hand. Her arm around his neck, she whispered in his ear ” you’ll make a very fine king.” Deer Woman wasn’t only Grandma to the deer, she was also known as “Ma” or “Grandma in her little trailer park “village” Most of the people living there were from other countries, having had to leave their larger famalies behind to come and make a life in the US. Bonnie “counseled” many new mother’s and children and was very loved and revered in her little village. Grown children would often come to her on their visits back to the area to tell her how much she had helped them find their way back when they were kids. Deer Woman loved this position as a village ” Elder” it felt familiar and harkened back to her Indian roots. Every morning Deer Woman would walk a big circle through the forest and neighborhood saying good morning to all of her family human and non-human alike, she always carried her gun with her, because she had no antlers to defend herself from wild dog packs, an agressive bear or god fobid a deadly mountain lion. Bonnie would sing as she walked to alert the animal neighborhood that she was there so as not to startle anyone. The deer loved her voice and their ears would twitch and rotate around to hear her better. Deer Woman felt at home and at peace with her life now in balance. She had a favorite log that she would sit on and spend just a little more time with her forest family than her human family. There was just a sense of ease there and she was much more ” fluent” in the language of the trees and forest creatures than human, though she loved the village children and their famalies dearly, the Ponderosas showered her with their energy and she in turn showered that love onto the village she lived in. One morning Bonnie was walking down her regular path and heard a horrible screaming, she looked to her right and saw Mother running straight at her chased by a mountain lion, Mother could not stop in time and crashed straight into a wooden fence on the other side of Bonnie’s path. Her head stuck between the wooden boards she was trapped. She was struggling to stand but it was apparent that something had been damaged. Her back legs would tremble and shake and would not bare her weight. Bonnie waited behind a tree watching, helpless to save her. The mountain cat continued it’s steady approach. When Bonnie was sure that Mother was ” done for” she crawled out on all fours from behind the tree. She wrapped her arms and legs around Mother and held her tight.She could feel the pounding of her heart through the bones of her back. Deer Woman began humming a lulaby softly into Mother’s big ears, Whispering and cooing”Shh now..Shhh now, something she used to do with her young daughter when she would get over excited and start to hyperventilate, now came back instinctively. Their bodies entwined, their heartbeats syncing up into one, Bonnie slowly reached into her holster and drew out her gun, cocking it, she put it to Mother’s head and shot. She held Mother until she felt her heartbeat slow and then stop. Keeping one eye on the approaching cat, she got up and headed back home on her path. Grateful to have been there when she was, she still felt the familiar clawing of grief in her chest. The tears fell from her eyes as she made her way back home. The next day she returned to the spot and covered Mother’s body in sage brush and surrendered her to the earth. This was the time of year when the deer herd usually headed South. Now, they would have to depart without their queen mother. The next morning Studley came to visit Bonnie, as she approached, Studley lowered his strong neck and leaned into her, a moment of sadness shared, Bonnie ran her hands softly over Studley’s antlers. “It is up to you now to lead my son, she whispered…Studley ate one more apple from her hand before he turned away and joined the rest of the herd headed South.